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Old 01-01-2018, 06:36 PM   #6
SonshineMama
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Default Re: siblings arguing

Because “your family gets the best or no one gets the rest” IF there is someone egging things on, I may calmly say “it sounds like you are intentionally trying to upset X.” <- I have a child who wants attention, any attention, who gets really annoying and does this. If I say that and pause, my child admits it but saying “it sounds...” gives her a chance to correct me if I’m wrong.

Several approaches that have worked for us
1 serve one another. If both are causing an issue must each do something nice for the other. But the instigator or the antagonizer often has to do something kind for the other.
2 a rule they cannot even look at each other until I have time to sit down with them or they r ready to be kind . I continually say “I see you maki g eye contact” I let it drag out until they are trying to sneak behind my back to be kind to each other. It puts them back on “the same team”.
3 “sit still far from One another until I can referee.” Then I get playful and if/when that’s not working I whistle and say “back to your corners” (boxing reference)
4 tomato stake them (opposite of #2) and made them be together 100% of the time until they are kind and respectful to one another again. Usually it starts off stoic and ends in giggles.

My middle has fought w the older and the younger. Oldest and youngest (5years apart) haven’t fought much but until this year they weren’t close and didn’t get Along either. It actually was kind of painful to watch because middle is close to both (like fire and ice we say ). I’ve worked hard w the girls to help them develop a good relationship. It brings me great joy they’ve found their footing I remind myself of that when there is a lot of fighting
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Jodi

Please excuse typos. I have a difficulty w proofing.


Lovin' and servin' Jesus, Married to my Soulmate
Gentle Naturally-Oriented Homeschooling Mama to 3 amazing young people
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