Gentle Christian Mothers Community - View Single Post - ETLDTD

Marsha · 07-27-2006, 12:33 PM

I was following along silently. I've had a ahrd time in the past year with my daughter and this is helping both of us regain our footing.
This week's is probably the single best thing I've done. I don't know why I never thought of it. I need to tell her what to do, not what not to do. BIG difference!
For ex., she was playing with a pen (acceptable here) and marked on something not supposed to. I realized I could have said "don't mark on that" and five minutes later said the same thing about something else and finally got mad at her. I saw the whole thing play out in my mind, and realized I needed to say "What I want you to do with the pen is........." And she did! No arguing, no fussing, and we didn't address the mark on her leg. She knew she wasn't supposed to anyway!
Maybe I just never learned assertiveness or something. This one is making the biggest difference to me of anything I've done.

07-27-2006, 12:33 PM	#11
Marsha Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 15,359	Re: ETLDTD - Week Two, Wednesday and Thursday I was following along silently. I've had a ahrd time in the past year with my daughter and this is helping both of us regain our footing. This week's is probably the single best thing I've done. I don't know why I never thought of it. I need to tell her what to do, not what not to do. BIG difference! For ex., she was playing with a pen (acceptable here) and marked on something not supposed to. I realized I could have said "don't mark on that" and five minutes later said the same thing about something else and finally got mad at her. I saw the whole thing play out in my mind, and realized I needed to say "What I want you to do with the pen is........." And she did! No arguing, no fussing, and we didn't address the mark on her leg. She knew she wasn't supposed to anyway! Maybe I just never learned assertiveness or something. This one is making the biggest difference to me of anything I've done. __________________ Marsha Learning to be a single, wohm mom to my girls Ainslee (June 10, 2002) and Riley (August 9, 2005)!

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