Gentle Christian Mothers Community - View Single Post - ETLDTD

07-27-2006, 11:29 AM

I'm here, reading just not posting as much.

For whining, I say "I hear you." and give him a script "Hand me the juice, please, Mama." Or I say "I hear that you are upset and impatient. It is hard to wait. You want down NOW. It will be one more minute before I can help you."

Quote:

*Pay attention to your focus. are you focusing on what you want, or on what you don't want?

*When you are upset, Pivot. tell yourself, "okay, i'm upset. if i'm upset, i'm focusing on what i don't want. do i want more of this in my life?" if the answer is no, take a deep breath. focus on what you want your child to do more successfully. then calmly tell your child what to do and why.

ASSERTIVENESS: Saying no and being heard

*when you feel frustrated with your child, express your thoughts or feelings directly by saying, "i don't like it when you ____," or "when you _______, I feel _______." then assertively tell her what you want her to do.
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Last night I heard DH yelling "No!" in the other room. So I yelled "tell him what to do!" (Does yelling GBD ideas across the house count?

) Last night I was nursing and rocking DS to sleep and he hit me in the face HARD, and he needed his nails cut, so -- ouch. I yelped and set him down. I was tired and out of ideas so we just sat there being upset until DH showed up to take over for the moment. I knew I needed to say "Soft hands" or something, but we were just too tired. I think we need to work on an earlier bedtime and calmer daytimes (DS played with a few different friends yesterday).

I love the phrase "pivot." It's like "I am willing to see this differently." There always is a different way, a different direction, a more positive attitude to take. It's up to us to turn and face it.

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