Very wise words so far so I'll just add my story:
I was spanked and it "worked" to get me to obey but really all I learned was that if I could get away with something I avoided the punishment. I got really good at becoming the person my parents wanted me to be on the outside and rebelled on the inside.
And it ruined my relationship with my parents. How could I trust someone that hit me? I never really respected my parents, I pretended. I do not have a good relationship with my parents but if you asked them they would think it was fine
My son respects me because I respected him first