[DoulaClara]

I'm still working it out, but here are a few things we've been doing.

1) Treasures need to be safe. If Weds doesn't want Pugs to have her special baby dolls or mechanical hamster or whatever, she has to keep them in a safe spot, with my help if she thinks she needs it. If it's a treasure, I will help retrieve it from Pugs, who lately has become nearly diabolical about finding her dearest treasures and bringing them to her with an ear-to-ear grin, shrieking, "Mine!" and racing away with her squalling behind him.

2) Anything that isn't a treasure is fair game, and turns do need to be taken. If she's not playing with something, but decides she really wants it, she needs to try asking him, waiting, and finally getting my help in setting a timer. Usually, it almost never gets to the timer. One or the other of them loses interest before that even happens.

3) Snatching is absolutely not okay. IOW, if Weds has a toy scorpion in her hand, and Pugs races by and plucks it from her, he is escorted back and assisted in handing it back over. And vice versa.

I think sharing is one of those things that is still rudimentary, but just starting around four or five. I remember working a LOT on sharing for the first half of the year the years I taught kindergarten, because centers were very contentious until certain rules were established. If it is a drawing or playdough sculpture, it's not up for grabs; it's exclusive property. If it's a "treasure," and super special, it's also considered exclusive property. I try to make certain things to be everybody's toy, which kind of helps. We try to do some fun games with counting down to help Pugs, too, even though he's not really development ally ready to share that willingly. When we had the trampoline out, we'd do jumping games while counting to twenty, and then yell, "Now SWITCH!!!" And then the next child would hop on.

We also really dramatically try to play up the compliments when they do play nicely and cooperate with handing things back. For some reason, The Happiest Toddler on the Block bugs the heck out of me, but one thing from that book that works around here is "gossip," or when I tell DH or my sister over the phone in their earshot about how Weds gave Pugs some playmobil to play with and everyone played so peacefully. It may not work for everyone, but Weds is a WOA kind of girl, and that sort of thing sticks with her.

It's a heck of a process, that's for sure. We work at it every single day.