[Heather Micaela]

Originally Posted by joysworld

I think this is very important. The relationship between parent and child, I believe, is an important factor when an adult has issues with their parents spanking. I know several people who were spanked as a child, and have great relationships with their parents. The thing is, there was a great amount of connecting with the child in between the spankings. Some of these people spank their children, and see a clear distinction between spanking and hitting. Other friends of mine, have decided not to spank, but not because they have issues with their parents spanking, but because they believe differently. I just really do not like all spankers to be lumped into one group. JMT

Those that spank that have a good connection with their children tend to be -other than spanking- fair and aouthritative in most ways. And if you examine it closely you find they could do everything BUT the spanking and get the same result. But somewhere along the line they were taught that the spanking was what you have to do - so they do

And they call spanking not hitting because they hate to think of it that way. All hitting is not spanking but all spanking IS hitting. I will say that even since using a grace based paradigmn there had been times when my children had been hit (Fight or flight when one injured me). But it was followed by apology, making amends, and an admission that HITTING IS WRONG. I am not sure how I could say that in one situation and then turn around and do it in a calculated and methodical way later.