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Old 04-28-2012, 11:49 AM   #3
forty-two
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Default Re: Personality and ceding authority to parenting 'gurus'

Quote:
Originally Posted by saturnfire16 View Post
I think that fits well with the idea of principle centered living. Figure out your principles and then with each new idea that comes along you'll have a baseline to compare it to. Make thoughtful decisions, after looking at all the factors, that support your foundational principles. Live by those principles instead of someone else's rules.
Yes and no .

Fundamentally I think that it is true that healthy people find a balance between what other people think is good and what they think is good, and thus compare new things that come along (whether from themselves or from others) with their baseline balance.

But doing so by finding ones' fundamental, foundational principles is a rather N, particularly NP, way of going about it, I think. I've seen waaaaaaaay too many mission statements written by SJs that *completely* missed the point. And those statements are then ignored accordingly - that's just not how they do things .

XSxJ is actually very well suited for taking others' rules and comparing them to their internal experience to figure out what to do. And telling them that's bad, what they *really* need is some internal principles instead of external rules, is perpetuating the very problem it was meant to solve .
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~ forty-two ~
Possessor of The Answer to Everything and Solver of (Somebody Else's) Problems

INTJ: introverted iNtuition with extraverted Thinking
DYT 4/2: connecting intellectually and emotionally
Enneagram 5w4: a need to perceive and to feel special


Wife to my pastor dh (INTP) since 2003

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dd13, 'R'
dd10.5, 'A'
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