I deal with this too. People who think the relationship aspect of that stuff is just *so* wonderful and joyful, that they look past all the yucky stuff and don't even realize that they are simultaneously destroying relationship
I agree that strength of your relationship does help with discipline, but I find it sad that a lot of these "gurus" so quickly do things to sever the relationship or distort it- confusing love and pain in ways that I find so
and unhealthy.
I really, really dislike the "gleaning" concept when it comes to adversarial/punitive stuff. I think some mama here posted that it's like eating brownies with just a little dog poop. Pardon me, but I prefer just brownies with no poop!
Or, to me, it's like trying to cook a gourmet meal out of stuff in a landfill. Sure, it can likely be done, but you risk contamination and have to ignore an awful lot of, well, garbage! No thanks. I'd rather go somewhere without the potential for poison!