[SewingGreenMama]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybabies

I sooo understand this, as we have this exact scenerio with my 4yo. Reading your description, and thinking back to times I've had to deal with this, I can break the anger down into:
fear/panic that the poop will get everywhere/he'll eat it

frustration that I just want to get him cleaned off thoroughly so it won't make him more sore, and he won't let me and I can't get him to understand that

I will say that at this point, the arching and clamping really only happens when he's having loose poop and his bottom is sore. Away from the situation, I have the perspective to realize that his bottom really hurts and the wiping makes it worse and he's really just trying to protect himself. I keep not actually doing this myself but I think the best thing here would be to try changing standing up in the tub. That way the mess is contained to an easily cleaned place, and you could spray him off if you have a handheld shower, or pour water with a cup, both of which would be less painful than wiping.

This is what I do if M is refusing to cooperate with a change and I'm starting to see red. I lay a towel over the side of the tub (for him to lean against) because our tub is enameled cast iron and COLD, turn on warm water and spray him down really good (we have a LONG hose that I also use to spray down diapers). when I'm done I put a fresh diaper on him give him to dh or put him somewhere safe and clean the tub (cleaning is my go to for getting my anger out) yammering at myself to get a grip and realize that he is simply just learning to be mobile and doesn't want to stop no matter how bloody his bottom gets if I wait more then a few minutes to change him!