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sothisislove · 03-07-2010, 05:48 PM

DS is 2 3/4yo. He is usually compliant....my biggest gripe is that he whines when asked to do something. He's had maybe 2 or 3 full-blown tantrums. The latest was in Cracker Barrel the other day. (Side note: How unfair that they make us walk right past the candy to get to the tables! UGH!!)

He was carrying around a dinosaur toy that I didn't want to buy. Before we looked at toys I let him know that we wouldn't be buying any that day. So when he showed me the dino toy, we ooh'd and ahh'd over it. Talked about how it would be fun and maybe we can get it someday, but 'remember we're not buying today....'.

I asked him to put it back. I asked him again. I took it from him and returned it. He started crying. Dad grabbed his hand and headed for the door. DS fell to the ground, screaming. Dad picked him up and carried him to the car. DS refused to let Dad put him in the car seat, so I told Dad to just leave him alone for a minute. DS stood there crying and screaming like I've never seen him do before. It was a little scary for me to see him that intense. We sat for a minute and I went to put him in his seat. He still struggled, but I just kept speaking to him quietly...things like, "Yes, I know. You're so so sad. You wanted that dinosaur toy. Remember, Mom told you we weren't buying toys today. We'll come back sometime and look at it again."

He cried for about 10 minutes on the way home. (Until we passed the school district's parking lot full of busses...cuz that's just super cool!)

So here's my question in regards to the 5 steps: How close was I? Should I have bear hugged him in the store? I could see myself doing the bear hug and dealing with the problem there. I was pretty calm. Other times I might be aggravated and would definately flee as quickly as possible...but that day I was ok.

Also: What do I do when at step 5, he doesn't get violent or tantrumy...but rather runs and hides behind the chair? (Such as when I ask him to clean up or put shoes on?)

Please critique! What could I have done differently/better?

Thanks so much!

03-07-2010, 05:48 PM	#79
sothisislove Rose Blossom Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 196	Re: The Five Steps DS is 2 3/4yo. He is usually compliant....my biggest gripe is that he whines when asked to do something. He's had maybe 2 or 3 full-blown tantrums. The latest was in Cracker Barrel the other day. (Side note: How unfair that they make us walk right past the candy to get to the tables! UGH!!) He was carrying around a dinosaur toy that I didn't want to buy. Before we looked at toys I let him know that we wouldn't be buying any that day. So when he showed me the dino toy, we ooh'd and ahh'd over it. Talked about how it would be fun and maybe we can get it someday, but 'remember we're not buying today....'. I asked him to put it back. I asked him again. I took it from him and returned it. He started crying. Dad grabbed his hand and headed for the door. DS fell to the ground, screaming. Dad picked him up and carried him to the car. DS refused to let Dad put him in the car seat, so I told Dad to just leave him alone for a minute. DS stood there crying and screaming like I've never seen him do before. It was a little scary for me to see him that intense. We sat for a minute and I went to put him in his seat. He still struggled, but I just kept speaking to him quietly...things like, "Yes, I know. You're so so sad. You wanted that dinosaur toy. Remember, Mom told you we weren't buying toys today. We'll come back sometime and look at it again." He cried for about 10 minutes on the way home. (Until we passed the school district's parking lot full of busses...cuz that's just super cool!) So here's my question in regards to the 5 steps: How close was I? Should I have bear hugged him in the store? I could see myself doing the bear hug and dealing with the problem there. I was pretty calm. Other times I might be aggravated and would definately flee as quickly as possible...but that day I was ok. Also: What do I do when at step 5, he doesn't get violent or tantrumy...but rather runs and hides behind the chair? (Such as when I ask him to clean up or put shoes on?) Please critique! What could I have done differently/better? Thanks so much! __________________ Married to DH since 2005. DS 4/27/2007 DD 12/14/2009 DD 11/12/2011 Homeschooling!

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