[ArmsOfLove]

Originally Posted by mamajane

The question that comes up for me is when it comes to helping, like cleaning up, for example. How do you not end up doing it all? There have been a number of times helping has become "Mama do it while the kids sit there slacking and Mama gets mad at getting taken advantage of." Help!

when children are young that is part of life beyond the times when handing them a towel and encouraging them to wipe up is viewed as fun.

As children get older (5 is a turning point in this ime) it's time to insist they do it. For most typically developing children this isn't a big deal. In fact, most children WANT to be social. I make sure to keep the idea that being able to do it without help is evidence you are growing up.

Once a child knows that resistance is futile they are going to do it. And I do always do it for them as they age. Toddlers, sure. But not beyond that. I might do it WITH them--put this in that bucket, hand that over here so I can put it up, etc. Eventually, for cleaning their room for example, I can give them one step and then they check back in with me and I give them the next, etc. Eventually they don't need to come ask the steps and I might pop in at the end and point out the few things that still need doing and give a

Any children that reaches 5 and still needs help frequently and for average things needs, imo, to be evaluated for special needs or have their diet considered.

ETA: I also encourage older children, or even same aged siblings, to help one another. Once we have 5 children there is no reason for mommy to be doing everything Often we don't ask children to do nearly as much as they are capable of.