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Old 08-07-2006, 05:35 AM   #20
pneumaphile
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Default Re: Permissiveness or GBD?

Honestly, I know someone that had an older brother in with a younger sister in a room, because their temperamants were better suited to sharing - they got along better. What's the problem with the 13yo sharing with her brothers instead of with her sisters, if it helps keep the peace. Forcing them to share a room won't help them get along better, discipline and love might. That is, IF your sons don't mind the arrangement.

I don't know the layout of the house, but I have also seen people give their teens an unfinished room, a basement or an attic. My friend Ruth gave her teen a space in the basement, put up "temporary" walls, painted the concrete floor and walls bright colors, a nice rug, etc. I think her teen cherished having her own space in her teenage years more than having drywall and covered beams.

I guess what I'm saying is, it takes creativity to meet everyone's needs (and sometimes their desires, if practical) when it's a large family, especially. I know in our house we've had no fewer than 7 sleeping arrangements in the past 7 years - whatever gets everyone the most sleep at the time. I can only imagine how that number of sleeping arrangements would grow exponentially with several more children!

As for can you be permissive and punitive at the same time, yep, I've seen it and here's what it looks like:
Mom (from couch): Don't. Don't do that, please. Honey, stop. Quit it. Please stop! . . .(repeat ad nauseum anywhere from 10 minutes to several weeks). . .Stop. STOP! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (finally gets off the couch, grabs kid roughly by the arm, smacks).
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