Re: "Is This Punitive?" is missing the point of GBD
I like this line of thought.
Perhaps the core question is more about, "What do I want to accomplish?" I don't really know... Sometimes I think, "Who's side am I on?" (If I'm on 'my side' feeling like the child is the problem, that's a warning to me -- but if I'm on 'the child's side' working against the problem for their sake, that's OK even if they don't like it or don't see it that way.)
I think a core skill of GBD is the ability to see ourselves clearly and be honest with ourselves when looking at our motives. Because I can justify things if I want to, and so can anyone else -- saying, "I'm acting this way for their own good" -- but a grace-motivated parent has to be able to face the reality that that's not always true, take note of those situations as mistakes (without falling into self condemnation) and work forward with their eyes open, as a learner... it's tough.
It helps if you come from a theological place that emphasises an incarnational view of ministry. (Meaning: the indwelling Spirit is doing the ministry, and we provide the 'flesh' to enact it as His co-worker.)
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Everything written here is the musing and mumblings of an ordinary person. Even if I take myself too seriously, there's no reason for any of you to make the same mistake!
Pam, 35 yo
Christian for 20 y
Married for 15 y
Mother to "J" 8 yo, and "M" 5 yo
INTJ, DYT 4, Canadian
1 more class until I'm done at Seminary
Adjunct Faculty at a Bible College
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