[marbles]

I'm thinking about the various responses here, and I'm wondering about this idea that it's punitive to tell the parent how you feel about hitting. I do think it can be done in a kind way. I mean, when Lucca does something that can hurt someone, I tell her that. I don't yell it (try not to) or shame her for it, but I do tell her that it was not nice, or that it hurt. It's just explaining the situation. Obviously, "what a horrible thing to do to such a poor little child I can't believe you would do that!" could be hurtful but simply letting it be known that it distresses you or that you are sad for the child isn't, I don't think, the same. I mean, I've been in a group where a little boy was being slapped on the hand repeatedly for aggression. If anyone was paying any attention to me at all, it was quite clear by the look on my face and my rush to block Lucca from seeing it (or reassure her after she saw it) that it bothered me. I think it is ok to step in and let it be known, "i don't agree with this" I saw a woman hit a puppy with a big stick once and I audibly 'ed was that wrong?
I tend to sound like I'm issuing the right way to do things, but I'm honestly trying to nail this down. Thoughts?