[gentlemommy]

Originally Posted by forty-two

All my knee-jerk responses - oh, how can you hit an innocent baby!? How horrible for him - are basically me trying to make the punitive parent feel bad so they will realize the badness of their actions and stop doing them . Just like they are causing their child pain so that they will stop doing bad actions . Awfully hypocritical of me -

ITTA. Saying, "How horrible" has a tendency to be very shaming and also effectively shuts down relationship. Which is exactly how the parent is treating their child. Definitely not something I want to model.

I think the most honest, yet compassionate response, would be something along the lines of, "It is really hard being a parent. Toddlers can be soooooo exhausting. I personally disagree with using physical pain to teach. What is it like for you?"

That tends to invite dialogue and allows you to be honest without shaming.