[Heather Micaela]

Originally Posted by forty-two

Thank you for your response - I'm really trying to get a handle on what it means to be an S. I will say that to me intuition and feelings are *not* the same, not at all - interrelated, but totally distinct. It really is this *knowing*, that's separate from reason, from emotions, from will.

It seems to me that, at some level, we are all have access to the same input - we just process it differently . Would you say that you use common sense?

I have access to whatever is in my enviornment. Many S's have N in them but not primary. I score almost none. NONE. Whatever N is I do not have it at all. I understand it is not feelings and I can spit back out your explanation to someone who is asking. But it is like a Deaf person trying to explain hearing. I do not get it because I do not experience it.

Common sense to me is the same as wisdom. It is things people have told me + things I have observed +things I have experienced. Then I apply them to similar situations. It is not some (for lack of a better word) feeling.

Yep, they are all hard because they involve causing pain to someone we love . That is *not* natural, that goes against the grain. The fact it's even necessary is due to the fall . Causing pain = bad.

To me a key difference is whether the pain is incidental - we'd avoid it if we could - or if the pain is integral to the process - like spanking, the *point* is to cause pain. If you took away the pain, you took away the point. And as causing pain = bad, anything in which deliberately inflicting pain is the point is just not justifiable .

Well of course. But some pain IS good. A little burn when you excercise shows your muscles are working. Pain in childbearing can be spun ver positively. And so since we know babies communicate through cryinng - when one tells you all they are saying when they CIO is "i'm tired" and not to worry - it is easy to believe untill you get enough evidence otherwise.

The thing with rely on nothing but the Bible, is that we have to get that input into us *somehow* - and all paths are flawed . Reason is often nominated (explicitly or implicitly) as being some more sanctified than the rest, but there's no Biblical reason to justify it .

Well I do not rely on noting but the Bible and disagree with that stance. I was just saying this was what I was taught. The Bible is stll foundational to how I live though. I just allow for various interpretations and do my best not to read it through our cluture. For the rest I use reason because that is who I am. I do not distrust the intuition of others, jsut like I hope my Deaf freind believes me that I hear a fire alarm even if she doesn't hear it. But just as she is going to be basing her perception on what she sees and feels(Vibration/tactile not emotion) and other sense, I am going to base my understanding on what I can take in via 5 senses. I am glad when intuition comes in to play because sometimes sensing takes longer. My friend might have to waite to see or smell the smoke if I am not there.

Anyway, I don't see intuition as an alternative to reason; intuition more synthesizes the input from reason and emotions .

I also know an N can be logical and a S can be illogical. BUt I can no longer be intuitive than my Deaf freind can hear.

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But that does mean that suggestions to go with what your mommy gut tells you make no sense to me. What I did is imagine what I would do if I was raising my kid with no example or esperts. That means I would not have the benefit of longitudinal studies and have to base it on what I know here and now. The second thing I do is use all of human history and not just the industrial era as my guide. What have MOST moms done?

Originally Posted by BarefootBetsy

I'm much more of a "weighing facts" sort of person as well I research everything to death and I tend to not go by "feelings" as a general rule. My T is extremely strong

However, it seemed incredibly flawed to me to discount motherly instincts. Especially when other mammals have them as well and, in their cases, those instincts are extremely important for their babies' safety and survival. There had to be a reason for these things - such as the fact that a lactating mother's body will let down milk when they hear a baby cry!

So... I researched to find the reasons behind the instincts and came to the (very logical, IMO) conclusion that there were good reasons behind them and that following those instincts was the correct thing for me to do.

I know that spanking never "felt" like a good thing to do (especially not on the receiving end - I've never actually dealt one out - and not even when I would think about spanking someone else), so I researched until I was confident that, logically-speaking, it wasn't. At least, not on a regular basis. It took me a little longer to come to the conclusion that hitting a child is never the best course of action even though sometimes it can seem to produce positive benefits and might seem like the only thing that can be done at the time (rather like in the Little House books where Laura whips that boy student when she was the school teacher).

My instinct is to feed on demand because otherwise I leak and to come when they are crying and protect them from outside harm. But I also have an overdelevoped fight or flight instinct (Studies show this is common with ADHD) that makes me whant to either hit, run, or yell when hurt or wronged. And to be a good mother I actually have to go AGANIST instinct in that aspect. And I was never spanked that I can recall so I do not have that experience to base my decisions on.