Quote:
Originally Posted by MegMarch
Any ideas how to handle it when they don't care or they are not doing stuff for so long that the next thing is food or bed? Mine is often fine with missing out on fun
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I don't feed my kids if they're not showing some initiative. So if the next thing is lunch or a snack, they have to be making progress to get fed. If they have a super long list and it is time to eat, I will require something small be done before they will eat. The younger the kid and the more hungry they are, the smaller this chore will be, but I do require progress for them to get fed. The Bible says if you don't work you don't eat, and I tell my kids this.
Another thing I do is that all breaks are taken with a timer. And I will ask them how long they want for a break (though if they say 3 hours that's not an option). So they might do a chore, get 15 minutes to read (but only if they or I set the timer), then do another chore, etc.
As for them not getting it done and then it is bed time, I'll have to think on that. Usually between no progress= no food and them only getting timed breaks, they have their stuff done by bedtime. If they worked pretty hard and got most of it done I don't do consequences for not having it done by bedtime, but for a kid who was just goofing off all day that would definitely require a consequence. We do have a penalty jar of chores and they draw one out for certain failures to work, so I might do that. But for a kid who really isn't getting anything done, a penalty chore wouldn't help- then they just wouldn't do that, either.
I assume you are breaking chores into reasonable chunks, right? (I have kids who can just fold a week's worth of laundry but I have had kids who have to be given the shirts, then the pants, etc).