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Old 11-28-2007, 04:32 PM   #2
Close2MyHeart
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Location: Northeastern US
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Default Re: List of family rules and consequences



For speaking disrespectfully to me or Dh we usually just say something like: " I don't like it when you talk to me like that. I'm going to leave the room now until you can talk to me more nicely." If I cannot leave the room I ask them to leave until they can talk more nicely.


I don't ever time a "cool down time". sometimes they need 5 minutes, sometimes they need 5 seconds. So if they are being mean to each other I remove them from the situation, have them talk to each other (the one being hurt tells the other one how s/he feels being treated that way) and then ask if they need some time apart. If so, they separate for whatever amount of time they need. This seems to work. Dr. Sears book also suggest that "Tommy" put on "Jimmy's" hat. Jimmy would then roll play and say the mean things Tommy was saying to him so Tommy could tell how he felt. Of course Mom is there to make sure it doesn't turn into a real fight and to talk about how it's not good to hear each other.

The consequence for running sounds good to me. If they buck the couch, perhaps let them choose a 'cool down" place. DS2 will often choose his bed, whereas DS1 likes Dads chair and DD likes the couch.

HTH a little. Sometimes it can be so hard to come up w/ family rules and consequences. I've been working on GBD for 2 years and still have a hard time w/ it.
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~ Becca ~
Wife to C., WFHM, Life long learner
Living in "organized chaos" with 2 handfuls of kiddos.
DS1(21), DS2(20), BD1(20), DD1(19), BS1(17), DS3(16), BS2(14), DD2(14), BD2(10), BD3 (8)
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