Thread: SACH review
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Old 03-14-2008, 06:09 AM   #7
MarynMunchkins
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Default Re: SACH review

"Examining Your Goals"

Chapter 5 examines parental goals for the methodology and philosophy that parents choose to use while raising their children. Mr. Tripp identifies 7 goals which he characterizes as "unbiblical":

1) Developing special skills

We all know who these parents are - stage parents. The ones so focused on making sure their child is "somebody" that they push their child and ignore what they really need. I agree with him that it is not our children being the best at something that should motivate our parenting.

2) Psychological adjustment

This comes across to me as a general bash on modern psychology. Perhaps I'm over-sensitive to it, because my family has respect for and utilizes psychology and psychiatry on a regular basis, but the tendency of the Christian to debunk it proves irritating.

Mr. Tripp says, "These gurus promise to teach you how to build self-esteem in your children. Have you noticed that no books promise to help produce children who esteem others?" (pg. 41)

It's a basic tenant of my belief in dealing with people that people who feel well, act well. And people who feel badly, act badly. So if psychology can help people feel better, I'm for it. Particularly those psychologists who understand that self-worth is not rooted in anything other than who we are in Christ and how much God loves us. I wish Christians would leave the poor mental health professionals alone.

3) Saved Children

This section surprised me. I agree with him whole-heartedly, but was a little taken aback to find it. Mr. Tripp points out that it should not be the salvation of our children that becomes the sole focus of our parenting. He says, "There are many passages that teach the need to shepherd, to train, to instruct, and to discipline your children. None of these passages has getting a child to pray the 'sinner's prayer' as its focus." (pg. 42) Salvation is the beginning of sanctification, not the end.

4) Family Worship

Once again, I agree with Mr. Tripp. "As valuable as family worship is, it is no substitute for true spirituality." (pg. 42) I don't think I need say anything that this quote doesn't already.

5) Well-behaved Children

Once again, I was surprised to find this here. And again, I agree. The goal is never children who behave - the goal is children who love and serve. However, I'm still concerned by his insistence that we should be dealing with our children's hearts. "If...your parenting focus becomes the behavior...[it] obscures dealing biblically with Junior's heart." (pg. 43) I believe that it is not our place to insist that our children's hearts be focused on God, but rather to lead by example and to let God work himself on our children.

"Then I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the LORD; and they shall be My people, and I will be their God, for they shall return to Me with their whole heart." (Jer. 24:7)


6) Good education

Pretty self-explanatory...these parents believe knowledge is power, and try to equip their children with as much as they can give.

7) Control

This kind of parent and his goal is frightening. It's a wholly selfish behavior that concerns itself only with the appearance of the parent and their desires, rather than the needs for the child.

Now that I've listed these things for you, I'd like to make one small comment. I don't believe that these goals can truly be called "unbiblical". Surely family worship, education, salvation, etc. are all goals we do have for our children - something we strive towards. I think the problem lies when we focus only on these things or mostly on one. I don't think they are unbiblical - simply incomplete.
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