Quote:
Originally Posted by akmyilee
Yes, this is good stuff...........I think will all the paridymn shifting, this is the hardest point for me........the "they are not TRYING to irk me off". I agree that Kyle is still very young, it hard to remember sometimes........Thanks to all you ladies, this is really helping me process this!
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Another thing to think about -- suppose they are trying to make you mad. How is it in your best interest to play that game? If DD doesn't want to clean up, I can make it about fighting with her, and she's fine with that, suits her to a T. But the room doesn't get clean. Or I can make it about cleaning up, which is what *I* want.
If something is defiance, the last thing you want to do is meet it head-on. That just feeds it.
The opposite of defiance is not more defiance! It's cooperation.
So once again -- defiance, rule-testing, lack of impulse control, pure accident -- I don't care, not useful. The useful thing to do is deal with the situation and work separately later to prevent a recurrence.