[mommy2abigail]

Ok, here's the senario. My mom and I work the first hour nursey class at our church. We have ages 6 weeks to 1 year. We are one of three classes for this age range. A few weeks ago a mama comes in with her baby, S, who is six months old. I welcome her, and ask a few routine questions, will she need to nurse or have a bottle, does she have a binky, will she need to nap, ect. She tells me she is nursing, and S will not need to nurse until the end of nursery, (1.5 hours) Great, well what are the things she likes best? Toys, does she sit, crawl, rool over, ect. So mama then says "We had her in the other nursery class for two weeks and she cried the whole time. So if she starts to cry-" I interrupt, because I think I know what is coming, so I want her to feel sure that, "We will try to calm her down, but if she gets very worked up, and we cant callm her down in 2 minutes, we will page you" to which she replies "Well if it bothers you, thats fine, you can call me. But if you just stick her in the crib, she'll calm down on her own. That is what she is used to." I almost couldn't talk after that statement, but none the less reiterated, "Well we will call you if she starts crying" Thinking she couldn't say anything else to surprise me....but then she says "Yeah, I know it will bother the other babies" So after that I really couldn't respond. Ok so that was about three weeks ago. Since then I have notices/observed a few very disturbing things about S. She can not handle interaction. At all. From anyone. I know some babies need their space, and that some babies can get overwhelmed. So I tried to keep my distance, when talking to S. Not get too close, just maybe touch her feet, or stroke her arm, ect. But she would melt down. You know when you talk to babies and they smile and make eye contact and try to keep you attention? S does not do anything like that. She can not handle being on the floor (which I kind of understand, since she isn't sitting up yet, she may just not feel safe?) or a swing, or in arms. She only wants to be on her back in the crib. She will literally spend the whole 1.5 hours alone in the crib, playing with her feet. I peek in on her and try to engage her in eye contact or give her a rattle, but she cries. Last week I was talking to her and she gave me a half smile right before she totally lost it. I picked her up and took her out into the hallway, to calm down. She didn't calm down until I put her back in the crib and walked away. I can't just ignore a baby for the whole time. That is terrible. The other thing that I have noticed is that she seems a little behind developmentally. She is about 7 months now, and her muscle tone (especially in her back) is more like that of a 3-4 months old. Meaning, you can't put this baby on your hip, she can't really balance herself, yk? My mom noticed the same thing, without me telling her anything. Other volunteers in our room have commented on how strange it was that she laid in the crib for so long. When we take the other babies on a walk, we have to leave her behind with a volunteer, because she cries in the buggy. SO here are my questions:
1. I know she may have a delay or something, which may contribute to her behavior. It would really help if I knew though, so I could be a better teacher with her. Is it appropriate to ask? Obviously I wouldn't just ask outright, so how could I word it so it's gentle, and doesn't make mama feel weird?
2. Is this behavior enough to make you worry? I am very worried about her, but I know I can overreact, and mama seems vry nice...maybe she is just not doing well? I don't know, S seems extremely detached. If I was going to talk to my 'boss', the lady who runs our nursery, what would I say?
3. How can I establish a loving, atachedrelationship with S, when I can't even talk to her? WHat are some non-invasive ways of bonding with her?
4. Am I overreacting?
Thanks ladies, I am worried sick over S.