Re: Words as magic vs bald faced lying
have you worked on teaching him the nuances of language? We talked about all sorts of language issues--what constitutes:
truth
lies
jokes
tricks
sarcasm
teasing
etc
When explaining lying I include important elements like it's telling an untruth to avoid trouble, or to deceive people--which is different from tricking because tricking is to tease the person and is supposed to be funny when they find out, but if the thing is negative and you're trying to protect yourself by deceiving someone, that's a lie. Then we talk about various scenarios and I say something and he guesses what category it falls into; then I give a category and he tries to think of something that would fit that category, etc.
When truth comes out, especially with a 6yo, I state very straight-faced: X is the Truth. You said Y and that is not the truth. When you say things that aren't true in order to avoid others being upset, that's a lie. It's very important to tell me the truth. If you lie I can't help you fix things. If you come to me, I can.
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