Thank you, ladies, for the kind comments and wonderful stories/feedback.
I wrote that letter almost five years ago and now have a new little dovie in my bed, our 3 yo dd.
Newleaf, forgive me if you've already posted for help, but if not, please do so (outside this thread please - but within the nighttime parenting forum) and we can offer whatever experience or encouragement possible.
Generally, if sleep is miserable, it's going to be miserable regardless of location, and worse if a child is feeling isolated.
And yes, waterbeds are not something I would ever co-sleep on, definitely not safe for an infant. Also, pregnant bellies do indeed require rolling but I guarantee you it's WAY worse on a waterbed!
Ask your hubby for an early childbearing gift and pick out a nice firm new mattress!
Also, if your hubby is so worried about SIDS, he should read the studies showing it is LESS common in co-sleeping infants than infants sleeping alone in cribs.