[GCM_Sticky]

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Title: No..Touch Gentle!!!!
Post by: ChibiBug on May 11, 2005, 08:40:49 PM
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My cousins were here over the past week for my gramma's memorial. One cousin has an 18 month old girl and the other has a 10 month old boy and both my cousins are gentle discipliners (neither saved..they would make awesome Christian moms!). The little girl has a serious hitting issue. Every time she would hit my cousin would take her hand and say "noooo..gentle touch." She would then SHOW her how to touch gentle. This would cause Jilly to kiss mommy and softly stroke her face. I witnessed this for a week and wondered if it would work on my 4yo...so I started trying it yesterday and it seems to be working. When he starts getting aggressive I have been saying gentle touch Alex and showing him how I would rather him touch me and he instantly settles down and touches gently (http://chunkymonkeypics.homestead.co.../jumphappy.gif)

Just one area of issue that I think I may have the right idea of GBD...pleeeeease tell me I am on the right track with this!!!


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Title: Re: No..Touch Gentle!!!!
Post by: schoolofmom on May 11, 2005, 08:55:17 PM
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Oh yes! I have been doing this with my ds since he was just 8 months old, and though he still sometimes needs reminders it's a great teaching tool.


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Title: Re: No..Touch Gentle!!!!
Post by: mom2threePKs on May 12, 2005, 06:32:48 AM
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That is great! Telling children what to do works wonders as opposed to telling them what not to do. The only thing I would add is that when you ds is aggressive and responds well to gentle touching, it could be a signal to you to redirect him to some kind of physical activity. Play outside, run, make an indoor obstacle course, jump over stuff, wrestle etc.

Good job Mama!

Magan


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Title: Re: No..Touch Gentle!!!!
Post by: Lois on May 12, 2005, 07:37:45 AM
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Yes, it's amazing that my 7 month already knows how to be gentle around dh and my faces...we have been doing the "show and tell" approach as well.


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Title: Re: No..Touch Gentle!!!!
Post by: PurpleButterfly on May 12, 2005, 07:47:21 AM
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How wonderful! I agree about redirection and distraction, distraction, distraction! The only thing I would suggest is eliminating the "no" - I try to save no's for as little use as possible so when I use them in an urgent situation, my child will feel alerted enough to really pay attention.

I love the way you're influencing your family and making a difference.

And I'm sorry for the loss of your gramma.

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Title: Re: No..Touch Gentle!!!!
Post by: Wonder Woman on May 12, 2005, 08:14:25 AM
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with ds (18 months) we say "Try again. Gentle touch". And he strokes our face and kisses us.

He was playing with his 18 mo friend the other day and the friend grabbed a toy and ds slapped him. Then (and he didn't know I could see him, I was in another room) he said "Oh! Dentle! Awww...." and stroke his friend's cheek and hugged him.

Isn't GBD cool?!?

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Title: Re: No..Touch Gentle!!!!
Post by: sarahtar on May 12, 2005, 03:19:19 PM
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We've had great success with "gentle touch" too except I often underestimate how literal my DS is. He was hitting the fish tank and so I started the gentle touch with that - and would take his little hand and stroke the glass with it. Now apparently he thinks gentle touch means the stroking action. And so will sometimes smack his hand on whatever he's going to touch gently, then stroke down, when I say gentle touch. SMACK, stroke, SMACK, stroke.

Just a reminder that our kids don't have the capacity for abstract thought...


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Title: Re: No..Touch Gentle!!!!
Post by: chelsea on May 12, 2005, 11:57:12 PM
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"Gentle touches" work great for us too!

Quote
Now apparently he thinks gentle touch means the stroking action. And so will sometimes smack his hand on whatever he's going to touch gently, then stroke down, when I say gentle touch. SMACK, stroke, SMACK, stroke.

Sounds like my 17-month-old who colors all over his skin with pen and says "Uh-oh!" the whole time he's doing it!


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Title: Re: No..Touch Gentle!!!!
Post by: Tulip_Plus_3 on May 13, 2005, 02:56:20 PM
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I'vve been working on this with my sweeties. I avoid using the word no, though, because I don't want that word to lose it's meaning. My son, in particular, needs frequent reminders to be gentle with me. I know he's just trying to be affectionate, but getting a Three Stooges poke in the eye does not make me feel warm & loving. Usually I just have to give him a soft reminder to "Be gentle with Mommy" and a little demonstration how I want him to touch me. Then he'll smile at me and be such a sweetie.