Katherine

Same here! Isn't that weird? I read BW when I was pg, and some about it just turned my stomach and set off all these icky warning bells in my head. I knew right away it wasn't right for me.

I was given TTUAC when ds was about 6 mos, and though I never totally bought into the whole thing, I was more accepting of his ideas than I was of BW. Why? I don't know.. Maybe b/c ds was becoming mobile, running away, testing limits, etc. and I was really feeling the pressure to start "disciplining" him? Maybe b/c I believe in some AP stuff like nursing, baby-wearing, and co-sleeping, and Pearl didn't come out against those things so strongly like Ezzo did? Maybe b/c Pearl's disciplinary ideas seemed so "Biblical" wheras Ezzo's teaching about scheduling and micro-managing seemed so arbitrary and unnatural. ?? Maybe b/c Pearl was so doggone specific and addressed every issue I was worried about how to handle? Dobson and others can be pretty vague and leave a lot of holes, IMO. I just don't know.

And the spanking babies was a sticking point for me, too. I just never could get past that. My son was a LOT older when we started experimenting with Pearl. There is no way I EVER would have considered smacking my 3 MONTH OLD baby like he advocates in one example. Other issues I was never at peace with included his all-or-nothing approach (you can't be 99% consistent, or you will fail. 100% consistency is the only option. Well, that's discouraging, cause I'm not perfect, kwim?) and his guilt-tripping.. e.g. If his methods are not working, then you are not doing them "right." If you're not doing things right or if you're having doubts, questioning him, etc. then you are not trusting and obeying God and you need to pray and get past all your own sinful reservations and selfishness. That sort of thing. I hated that. It was very cult-like and I do NOT like guilt and shame tactics. grrrrr... It re-read the book several times, trying to sort through things. It didn't take much time of actually using his methods to uncover the destructive nature of this approach. I regret that we followed even part of his teaching, but I'm glad that things disintegrated so quickly and we became convinced that it was wrong.