Irene

I was wondering along the same lines yesterday. It seems some people "get" this so much easier than others. DD's speach therapist the other day said "its basic phsychology" and I was like huh? then why dont we all do this, why arent we all just normally this way? why does it seem so stinking hard for some of us?

I like what Crystal says about this... she talks about how when we dont validate the emotions sometimes the kids become even more over the top to convince us that their feelings are real. I dont think we need to convince our children not to be sad about something. I think about my dh. If I am sad/angry etc I dont want him to convince me not to be sad about it, I want him to acknowledge that I am sad about it. I dont want him to fix it, I want him to come along side me and while he can comfort me, I dont want him to convince me my feelings arent valid. ya know?

I really struggle with my dd's big feelings. I want them to go away. Then, I realized that I have really big feelings to, and I try to stuff them all day long until I become a lunatic I really really have to watch what I eat If I, as an adult, am supposed to have some sort of self control, but dont, how can I expect my dd to? All the big feelings are taxing on me and I feel very stuck. :/

Midnightcafe... wow, you are so right I need to let myself be free I guess.
Dh gets really grumpy, and it bothers me, but through our marriage I have learned to be pleasant anyway, and dh has actually appreciated it. His mom always gave silent treatments and it always worked on his dad.... Dh has learned that silent treatments dont work on me, Im gonna go about my day no matter what. he can still be grumpy, but Im not gonna get sucked in. There are times that I do, but usually just when Ive also had a bad day

Now if only I could get the same attitude with dd course, dh doesnt scream and thrash around and be all demanding like she does either

anyway, totally thinking out loud here... just wrote a book