I put a sensitive tag on this because I quoted from the articles entitled "Jumping Ship".
A few years ago, I remember reading a three or four part article entitled "Jumping Ship" in their magazine. I was of a punitive mindset back then and it still struck me as odd that the article talked of the
many letters they get from parents whose teens have "jumped ship". I remembered thinking, "Wait...if this parenting method works so fabulously, why do these children run away as soon as they are capable of doing so?"
In spite of what it was intended to do, the article caused me to have some serious doubts about the parenting methods advocated by the Pearls.
The article Jumping Ship attributes the significant number of runaways to:
A lack of genuine faith...
Quote:
It is hard to communicate with many of you because you have been blinded by the “religion”. Even now as you read this, you think I am talking about someone else. You are confident that your family is secure in Bible principles and religious devotion. You have given them a “packaged Christianity” and isolated them from any outside influences, and you are confident that they are safe behind the fence.
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And a lack of joyfulness and passion,
Quote:
For starters, you must sell your children on your worldview. It must be an active and aggressive sell. They cannot be fooled with pretense....Teenagers want romance and passion...Parents make the mistake of thinking that their “good life” is a recommendation for the Christian life, but a “good life” can be lived by anyone of any religion, or by an atheist, for that matter, as observation so easily attests....A “good” life without any passion is not worth repeating....A light-hearted spirit of joy and praise is attractive to everyone. Religious convictions worn only on the shirtsleeves are about as attractive as a man sneezing in your face.
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In the article, Michael Pearl also said some things that pushed me away from the punitive mindset...(emphasis mine)
Quote:
They find unconditional acceptance with the people of darkness, and since they have never really experienced God’s love, they think this is the love they have always missed.
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Shouldn't a child find unconditional acceptance at home? Shouldn't a child get a glimpse of God's love through the actions of the parents? Who, in their right mind,
wouldn't exchange performance-based acceptance for unconditional acceptance?
Quote:
Love is always passionate. So is joy and peace. Longsuffering is passionate in its quiet reserve, taking into consideration the needs and feelings of others. Gentleness and goodness are virtues that point to God like a big red arrow. Faith is as lovely as a cherub’s wings. Meekness never allows others to feel inferior, and temperance is the ultimate demonstration of the power of God in one’s life. The fruit of the Spirit is attractive indeed.
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Quote:
Children cannot be brought to a healthy maturity raised in an atmosphere of fear and punishment.
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I agree with the above but find it seriously contradicts the rest of the Pearls' teachings. It seems Michael Pearl's readers are aware of the discrepancy...
Quote:
We hear it often, “I did train them, but it did not work.”
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Michael Pearl's response to the above amounts to a very pathetic, then, I guess you did it wrong.