Katherine

Even within their positive stuff, there are a few recurring themes that bother me.

One is the emphasis on happiness. I don't think that a peaceful, happy home is a bad thing, but I think you can overemphasize the importance of everyone being "happy" and having a "good attitude" all the time. Healthy, functional families have times when someone is upset, angry, discouraged, etc. Those are real emotions that are part of the human experience and children need to learn from their parents/families how to deal with the realities of life's not-so-fun moments.

The second is that he openly admits that he is seeking to condition. I find that very manipulative and icky.

The third is the nature of his stated goals. He is very blasse about not seeking to raise godly children during the training process, but instead to have children who immediately, unquestioningly obey. His stated goals all revolved around ease of life for the parents, convenience, control. Examples of what he strives for are adults being able to converse/visit for hours without any interruptions from their young children... Adults being able to take children anywhere anytime and leave whatever they wish lying about with the knowledge that they will not have to deal with curious little hands touching anything.... Even the "good" goals that I don't have a problem with (like a peaceful home, orderliness, kids who resolve their own conflicts, etc.) can become a problem b/c he sets those goals in a place of higher importance that the children themselves... and b/c the motivation behind the goals is a very selfish, adult-entitled mindset.

I just started going through his book with a critical eye--several years removed from my experience of being negatively influenced by it... and I'm currently making a list of his stated goals/examples to contrast with my own, and documenting the number of times he names "happy and obedient" as the required state of being in which children should exist. :/ Those are 2 things we cannot and should not seek to enforce in our kids: their emotions and their heart response.