[MariJo7]

I see I'm the "old phossile" here . The punitive "parenting expert" I grew with was Larry Christenson. We were advised to read his books and follow his instructions. Larry Christenson is not a real "parenting expert" but rather a general, charismatic Lutheran, evangelical preacher, but he has written some books about parenting as well. He believes that the children should be raised in the "good, old fashioned way" with a lot of chores, rules and spanking. One of his books had a preface written by David Wilkerson, who strongly recommended the book and expected a real "revival" come out of it. By all means, I appreciate David Wilkerson, I do not mean to degrade him, but even people like him are not right in every matter.
When my oldest was a toddler, we were introduced to the teachings of James Dobson. I must honestly tell you: compared to Larry Christenson, he was a big relief! Can you imagine! I still remember his first video tape we saw at church. He told that children do not need to be spanked for everything, and that responsibilities are best learned by positive enforcement, not by punishing. If you think that James Dobson was a balancing influence in our lives, you might get some idea of how this Larry Christenson and our church was.
I have never heard about this Pearl before. I have read something about this Ezzo couple on the internet. They sound like everything I'm against at. I'm not aware that our church would have known him when we still were there, but they had some very similar things. I failed to breastfeed my two first children because of the ill advice of my pastor and his wife. I hated to leave my kids to the nursery during the church services. I never knew if they would be fed or if they would come to get me if necessary. Later I discovered the books and courses of La Leche League and considered them really helpful. Breastfeeding became something to me that I did not talk about at the church, a kind of safe haven for me and the babies.
It's all over now. The children have grown up, and as far as I can see, they are doing fine. Nobody demands me to spank any more or let my babies cry or do other things that feel so wrong. Still, the past is a very painful issue to me. Sometimes I even have nightmares about it.