[Titus2Momof4]

Originally Posted by DixieKitten

Yes, we are all human and it does no good to demonize a specific person. And I think it is very true that it is easier to blame some parenting guru for a bad relationship, than the people in the relationship themselves

Agreed. Just like on the same token, I don't think it's fair to blame the Pearls (or anyone) when you beat your kids to death. Although I'm sure the materials parents read influence them, but people need to own up to their own mistakes, and not try to blame someone else.

On that note.... As someone who was diligently trying to follow the Pearls: Without getting into some big long diatribe lol... I just want to say, Yes, he does say to love your kids (tying heart strings) and yes he does emphasize the importance of having their heart, having a bond, attached relationships, etc. This is all very good, and I also know they advocate breastfeeding too. Very nice.

*But* --in *practice* there is no way that their methods actually encourage all of the things that they write down in their books, that I just wrote above. It just doesn't happen. I mean, look at me example....here I am dealing with all of these emotions that are coming out in my kids, one of my kids seems to be unsure about hugging/loving me (she loves to do it but seems to give me this "really? do you mean it? wierd/confused look, and so on) There is no flipping way that hosing down your kid for peeing on himself (either accident or intentional), or swatting a 4-5month old's thighs, or keeping a 1 y/o on your lap swatting him every time he dares to move, or pulling over repeatedly to spank your crying 2 y/o, etc......no way does that bring about the nurturing that they also suggest. I mean, 2+3 not equal 4, no matter how you may want it to, no matter how you may *claim* it does... it just doesn't!