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Old 04-29-2012, 08:11 PM   #12
forty-two
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Default Re: Personality and ceding authority to parenting 'gurus'

INTJ is known as the most independent type, and will definitely tend to fall on the "rejecting external authority in favor of internal authority" side of the coin. We probably wouldn't agree with someone just cause they said they were the awesome sauce , but if *we* think something's the awesome sauce, well... - sometimes we are *too* dismissive of others' contrary advice .

So if we go overboard, odds are we probably did it to ourselves . Certainly I tend to learn things the hard way .

And we don't tend to have a lot of sympathy for people who cede authority to others and get into trouble - personality typing's helped me get them a lot better, and what they have to offer .

---------- Post added at 09:40 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:29 PM ----------

You know how some people will do things because other people are doing it? INTJs will often do things *because* no one else is doing it . You can see the pluses and minuses in this .

Although an insecure INTJ may very well latch onto the first idea that sounds plausible and defend it against all comers - this is exactly like how other insecure people will latch onto someone else's approach that sounds plausible and then defend it against all comers.

And in areas out of our depth, INTJ can be as prone as anyone to latching onto an expert and hoping for the best. But usually anything *we* implement, we need to understand in order to actually do it. (The flip side being that anything we don't understand, we won't do, no matter who it hurts .)

---------- Post added at 09:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:40 PM ----------

I'm losing the thread of my point somewhat , but I think it's that healthy individuals balance internal input and external input, and different types concentrate on different input and balance the E/I input differently. And so different types will get out of balance in characteristic ways, with varying levels of bad results.

But if a type gets out of balance in an *uncharacteristic* way, though it doesnt happen as frequently, the results are far more likely to be catastrophic, either to the person or their surroundings or both.

---------- Post added at 09:57 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:49 PM ----------

Anecdotally, when I was seriously depressed, I started by sliding out of balance in characteristic fashion. I was me, but an increasingly one-sided me. And once I was really hitting bottom, pretty much unable to function, I started being out of balance in *uncharacteristic* ways, ways that were entirely foreign to healthy me. I recognized they were "not me" but not just how severely they were not me (ability to recognize relative badness in a healthy way had flown out the window).

And when I started to recover, I lost the uncharacteristic ways first, but the characteristic out of balance habits were much harder to shake. But I could function with them.

---------- Post added at 10:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:57 PM ----------

Also, a person can zealously follow someone else's system by choice.

I mean, for every person who is insecure and follows Ezzo because he and others say he is da bomb, there's someone else who follows Ezzo because *they* themselves think he's da bomb. So if they go overboard, it's because they were internally driven to do so, not because they were externally driven to do so. Because the person herself thought she needed to turn herself inside out, not that someone else told her to do so and she believed them.
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~ forty-two ~
Possessor of The Answer to Everything and Solver of (Somebody Else's) Problems

INTJ: introverted iNtuition with extraverted Thinking
DYT 4/2: connecting intellectually and emotionally
Enneagram 5w4: a need to perceive and to feel special


Wife to my pastor dh (INTP) since 2003

Mother to:
dd13, 'R'
dd10.5, 'A'
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and two in heaven: miscarried 10/29/04 and 01/01/05

Blog: Lutherama

What we want is just one thing, not the thing.
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