Re: How do I get 'past' this?
What really occurred to me when reading your post is your continuing desire to parent and grow in your mothering even though your kids are "older". Have you ever considered adoption (or fostering)?
Our DS is adopted and we are now entering the season of our family's life that we are about to welcome however many biological children the Lord blesses us with, but then we will be adopting and/or fostering once again as long as God wills it.
I know my response doesn't really answer your original concers about breastfeeding, etc. but it was just something that struck me in reading your post and how much motherly wisdom that you have to offer. While I'm sure you will bless other mothers with your encouragement and wisdom, perhaps you ARE meant to bless other children as well.
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