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Old 05-31-2012, 12:36 AM   #65
ArmsOfLove
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
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Default Re: Why not time outs?



I've always maintained that hugs are the least utilized and most effective discipline tool that God gave us By all means if your child wants cuddles in the Comfort Corner and you can be there, cuddle away

The key is that discipline ONLY takes place within the context of relationship and punishment damages relationship. This is why "spanking experts" will insist you must "reconnect" after the spanking--the spanking, by its nature, disconnects. The same is true for anything that could be defined as "adversarial"--it pits you against each other when God has put you on the same team.

If you focus on the relationship and on modeling and instructing in proper social behavior you will find a different tone to the relationship because true discipline can take place

and I understand feeling guilty--but maybe you can start with modeling what it looks like to forgive yourself when you've done something wrong and how to put your energy into making amends
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