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Title: Biting
Post by: hink4687 on February 20, 2007, 08:24:27 PM
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I know this is one of those subjects that has probably been addressed time after time but my DS has just recently started biting us. Its always completely out of nowhere and he's really hurting us! He bit my nipple the other night. I had a tank top on too and we were laying in bed and I was cuddling and tickling him and he layed his head on my chest all sweet and then bit me. It actually bled and I couldn't nurse him on that side for several days.
I'm still a little scared. Then he bit my leg tonight and brought blood again. Everytime he's done it he's been in a very giggly hyper mood and its never out of aggression. I have no clue what to do! It really hurts!
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Title: Re: Biting
Post by: 4Cygnets on February 20, 2007, 08:39:31 PM
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I'm assuming it's the son that is going to be 2yo? Is he maybe getting molars? Or has he been around other kids who bite? I have noticed with my own that they will bite from either of those things. Or, if they do get excited they have bitten. I remove myself from the situation immediately and say "No bite! We do not bite! You hurt mommy!" By getting up out of bed, or off the couch, I am taking myself away from the child and showing him that he cannot be close to me and hurt me. I know when I've been bitten while nursing, I end the nursing session immediately.
I have not had a child that was a habitual biter, so I guess I can't give any other advice. Just repeatedly telling them no, or trying to catch them before they bit, seemed to work for us.
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Title: Desperate about Ds' biting for fun
Post by: Hopeful on April 01, 2007, 02:18:26 PM
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Ds bites us - never anyone else - for fun - never out of anger/fear/etc. Purely for fun.
We say No.
We say 'Mouths are for eating/kissing not biting'
We say You are hurting Mummy/Daddy
We show the teethmarks
We put him down and ignore him.
We give him something else to bite on.
Everytime he bursts into laughter.
To which we say It's not funny. You're hurting Mummy.
This has been going on for MONTHS!
We are losing our minds here!!
I've been very tempted to shut him in his room, both DH and I have caught ourselves yelling at him (no effect on him) and once even I raised my hand but thankfully stopped myself before I hit him.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE...what can I do??
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Title: Re: Desperate about Ds' biting for fun
Post by: mamaKristin on April 01, 2007, 02:24:01 PM
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Is putting him down and walking away a last resort thing? I'm thinking at his age, that is probably your best bet. When my youngest bites (she's 17 months), I will tell her 'teeth are not for biting' and either put her down or walk away.
Is he getting molars at all?
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Title: Re: Desperate about Ds' biting for fun
Post by: Hopeful on April 01, 2007, 02:30:17 PM
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Yes, putting him down is a last resort thing.
As for molars...could be but he's been doing this for about 6mo now!
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Title: Re: Desperate about Ds' biting for fun
Post by: mamaKristin on April 01, 2007, 02:35:31 PM
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Honestly, I'd skip the chatter and showing the bite marks and go directly to putting him on the floor and walking away. Every time. With a firm and direct "biting hurts, no biting". I'd also try to see if there is a pattern to when he bites - is he bored, tired, frustrated? That way you can work at heading off the bites beforehand. Also, maybe increasing his sensory play so he feels less like biting.
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Title: Re: Desperate about Ds' biting for fun
Post by: OpalsMom on April 01, 2007, 11:18:35 PM
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Quote from: mamaKristin on April 01, 2007, 02:35:31 PM
Quote:
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Honestly, I'd skip the chatter and showing the bite marks and go directly to putting him on the floor and walking away. Every time. With a firm and direct "biting hurts, no biting". I'd also try to see if there is a pattern to when he bites - is he bored, tired, frustrated? That way you can work at heading off the bites beforehand. Also, maybe increasing his sensory play so he feels less like biting.
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What she said. This is an age at which actions speak a lot louder than words and bite marks are just marks.
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Title: Re: Desperate about Ds' biting for fun
Post by: naturallia on June 08, 2007, 08:41:23 AM
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I'm in this dilemma now. I could have written the original post myself! Except I also add "for kissing and eating" and DH is tempted to bite him back to show him it hurts. Thankfully, so far, DH is respecting my wishes that we won't do that or raise a hand to our son, but we are both getting frustrated. He's got two tiny teeth on the bottom so far, so I really want to nip this in the bud before he's got a mouth full of dangerously sharp teeth.
I hope you don't mind me bumping this rather than starting a new topic so that we can add more advice to the same thread rather than have yet another thread about biting. In another thread, I found this-
Quote:
Children who bite others cause a great deal of concern for the parents. The parents of the child who has been bitten are also usually very concerned about infection. Biting is an unacceptable behavior that needs to be stopped at an early age to prevent further occurrences.
Why young children bite:
Although biting is fairly common in young children, it is often worrisome to adults. A family member, playmate, or classmate at daycare or preschool may be the one bitten. Biting can be painful and frightening when it occurs. It upsets other children and often angers teachers and other adults.
Biting is usually caused by one of four different factors, including the following:
* experimental biting: Experimental biting is done by infants and toddlers as they explore their world. They put everything in their mouths and sometimes bite in the process. You can help decrease biting by telling them, No - biting hurts! and being firm. Offer them things that they can safely bite on such as teething rings.
* frustration biting: Frustration biting happens when young children become frustrated and unable to cope with a situation. Until they learn how to play cooperatively, they may respond to the demands of other children by hitting or biting. Some helpful guidelines for decreasing this type of biting include:
o Keep playtimes short and groups small.
o Supervise young children's play closely.
o If biting occurs, say, No, don't bite. Biting hurts. and remove your child from the situation right away. Stay with your child and help him/her to calm down. Explore other, better ways to handle the situation with your child, so he/she learns to handle emotions differently next time.
* powerless biting: Powerless biting occurs when a child is in need of feeling powerful. Sometimes, the youngest child in the family uses biting to gain power. To help prevent this type of biting:
o Make sure your child feels protected and is not always being picked on by others.
o Explain the situation to bigger or older children and get their help to make things more equal.
o If biting occurs, tell your child that he/she is not to bite and remove him/her from the situation right away. Stay with your child and help him/her to calm down. Explore other, better ways to handle the situation with your child, so he/she learns to handle emotions differently next time.
* stressful biting: Stressful biting is done when a child is under a lot of emotional stress. Biting may be a sign of distress or pain when the child is upset or angry. If this occurs:
o Try to find out what is bothering your child. Watch for what happens right before the biting occurs.
o Help your child to find other ways to express his/her feelings. Let him/her know that biting is wrong and remove him/her from the situation right away.
If your child bites, respond firmly, but calmly, to the biting. Let your child know that you disapprove and remove him/her from the situation. Help your child learn new ways to handle things. If your child bites repeatedly, be sure to consult your child's physician or healthcare provider about the problem.
What do I do if my child is biting others?
While every child is different, the following are some recommendations that may be used to help with the child who bites:
* Be firm. Tell your child that you will not accept biting and why. Tell him/her biting hurts others.
* Offer another behavior the child may use instead of biting. If the child bites because he/she is angry, have the child come to you and tell you this instead. A child who is younger than 18 months may need a toy that is allowed to be chewed on.
* If you catch your child biting, use a firm no to stop the behavior, or try to stop the child before the biting actually occurs.
* Use time-out if your child bites, or take away a favorite toy or activity.
* Do not bite your child for biting someone else. This teaches your child that biting is still acceptable. Do not bite your child in a playful manner, as this might teach him/her to bite others.
* Give praise when your child does not bite
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That's helpful but doesn't really give concrete suggestions if YKWIM? Of the suggestions above, I think it's exploration biting and frustration biting. He bites the most when we're playing and he'll chomp down and giggle his butt off and in the other situations, he'll chomp down when he's fighting sleep.
I have been yelping loudly and quickly putting him down on the floor and looking at him in a very surprised and shocked way and saying "Ow, Ryan, why did you need to end playtime? Don't you want to play with momma?" or if he's already on the floor anyway, I'll yank my hand away and walk away which makes him cry and crawl over to me to give me an apology hug.
He is 10 1/2 months old by the way.
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Title: Re: Desperate about Ds' biting for fun
Post by: OpalsMom on June 08, 2007, 10:40:30 AM
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Biting is a big deal to grown-ups, and it's just not to babies. So your goal is to
1) Make it clear that you don't accept it without making it a Big Deal What Will Mama Do Next? thing.
2) Provide other ways for the kid to meet their needs.
So, when the kid bites, you say "Ow! That hurts! I'm not going to let you hurt me." And you separate yourself from the kid. No drama, no reasoning, no extras on top. Kid doesn't cry, fine. Kid does cry, still fine. You have to decide what "separation" works for you and your kid. It could be put them down where they're still touching you but facing away; it could be walk away; it could be for a mere second or it could be for a minute or two. Whatever gets across the message "I love you and I won't leave you but I won't let you hurt me. You can't play with me if you're going to hurt me."
When the kid isn't biting, and most particularly when the kid is just about to bite, you provide alternatives. "Oh, you're MAD! Time for an angry dance!" "Oh, you want him to stop. Sign 'stop' like this." "Oh, you're feeling chewy. Here's a chew-toy." (Umm, some people don't call them that when they're for people.) "Oh, you want to play. High five!" "You want down. Sign 'down' like this."
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