[CelticJourney]

Originally Posted by FebFaith

This is probably not a good example, but I like many different types of music. Worship: Hillsong, Steven Curtis Chapman, etc. all the way to Dixie Chicks. If you line the music up side by side they may not seem to relate and even be contradicting, but they bring something different to me and I take certain things away from each one and find enjoyment.

I think each is on the journey and the Lord is guiding us and speaking to each of us to lead us closer to Him in all parts of our life. I don't really see these books at opposite ends and polar opposites, just different steps on the way.

So want to agree with you, but.... can't quite get there... The problem is that on one side you have Whelch and Tripp teaching in the end that your children are the enemy and that you 'must win' and in the battle it is acceptable to not only physical force, but chemical warfare ('hot saucing' is horrific). Yes, they write a lot about 'their heart' being important and all of that, but in the end, when thought become action, the outward expression and appearence become paramount - the 'happy is the only acceptable emotion', even after someone four times your size physically dominates you and purposefully inflicts pain. It means all the words of grace are meaningless if they don't come to fruit in action. I am always shocked at the level of discussion about grace, love and the gospel and then the spiritual twist that comes to negate it all when it comes to children by these authors.

So while they may not be polar opposites, they stand on different banks of a very big divide between punitive parenting and grace based parenting. Are the children the enemy or are they fellow Christians on a journey that I have been blessed to guide them on?