[Kiara.I]

Originally Posted by Rose5000

I guess by this post I meant I was fearful because I feel that I'm just not doing the food thing with kids RIGHT.

I'm going to flip it around for you. Actually, your children aren't doing the eating thing RIGHT--that sounds like it's because your son has sensory issues. So ditch the idea of the perfect poster child who eats what he's told, when he's told, and accept the child you ACTUALLY have--the one with major sensory needs, so that you need to do some complicated dance to keep him fed.

That means that "Right" is what works for YOUR child, during THIS stage of his development. Who CARES if it matches, say, Weston A. Price? They're not parenting YOUR child, now, are they? What do you suppose their recommendations would look like if they were, day in and day out?

And yes, I do think you should address his eating with the therapist (wait, did you mean his therapist or your counsellor? Well, by all means talk to your counsellor about it too, as in, "How do I deal with these feelings of frustration and helplessness around my child's issues? How can I make this more emotionally healthy and productive?"

Originally Posted by Rose5000

sometimes i think if i just stop hiding the stuff and just provide lots of food and let them eat whatever they are interested in then at least he would eat more quantity/calories. is this being irresponsible ?

Yes?
Okay, like rjy9343 said, you choose the lesser of two evils. If you need to wash carrots down with licorice, maybe that's what you need to do. But I'm pretty sure that providing unlimited access to junk food to a child who *has repeatedly shown* that he is not good at self-regulating would be irresponsible.

Originally Posted by Rose5000

This brings up anotgher point: do you moms of young children just serve the food on a plate for the child or do you make sure you ask them what they want first.

I usually just serve it. BUT, I am dealing with neurotypical children who have not shown any texture sensitivities of any kind. I just serve it because experience tells me that I can. If experience tells you that you can't, then it doesn't matter what I do. You need to do what YOU need to do.

Originally Posted by Rose5000

But dh told me that maybe we just have to get used to seeing a lot of food go to waste, because whats worse is asking him what he wants and making several offers and have him refuse them all and then eat nothing. what do you ladies think? at least if i put food on a plate for all 3 meals plus made snacks available only at certain times, then at least we would not have the "everybody's hungry at a diff. time" thing goin' on.

Well, will that work for you? What will work best for your DS and you? Have you tried the "set menu of 5 options for breakfast" thing? If so, is it working? Should you consider a similar idea for dinner? That he can select what he's having, and then once you've made it, that's what he gets?

I do think that at 10, he can probably afford to just be hungry for a couple of meals if he decides to be extra contrary. I mean, he has food issues. Granted. If you've made him what he's said he wants and THEN he refuses to eat it and wants something else? I'd be inclined to say, "Tough cookies. Next meal at: " Has experience shown you that this would be effective with him? Or does he actually need to have multiple meals available at any given time?