Well, ladies, do you know what's a show-stopper in a nicely chatting group of Christian Mommies?
It's when the strictest parent there casually mentions that she doesn't spank. Here's the circle of my friends and acquaintances when I mentioned it:
Friend 1:
"You don't???"
Me: "Yeah, I used to, but I haven't in a long time."
Friend 2:
"Really?"
Me: "I try not to do anything harsh at all, really."
Friend 1: "Well... but... your kids are angels."
Friend 2: "Some kids just don't need it."
Friend 1: "Yeah, I had one that spanking didn't work for."
Friend 2 to 1: "It's not the right tool for every child."
Friend 1 to me: "You can leave if you want to, if you think it's cruel."
Me: "No, I just think it's unnecessary."
Friend 2: "Well... you've got angels."
Conversation continues on which kids "need" it, with lots of "funny" stories. Apparently, their various children's persistent poor habits means the Mom should do more of what they are already doing (spanking), but the consistent excellence of my children has nothing to do with my methods: they were born that way.
Do these people really believe random selection gave me two angels, that I never had to really parent 'the hard way' -- while they received an assortment of challenges my methods could never meet? I should extra-respect them for raising more difficult children, beyond my scope of experience? Even if they "have to" hit these challenging children, and even if hitting them isn't showing any benefits!