[ShepherdsWife]

Originally Posted by Hermana Linda

It's sematics. He he defines spanking as punishment and what they do before the age of 4 as "training". As he explains it, the better you train them, the less you will need to spank them. So it makes sense that he sees himself that way.

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True. If you divide spanking and training into different camps according to their testimony they would have been extremely moderate spankers because their children past 2 years old received extremely few spankings, in fact according to one of their children they would have been the same as some of us including me who have spanked a couple times. The hundreds of "spankings" before the age of around 2 were merely training.

The good old-fashioned spanking is so engrained in our culture that somehow I'm afraid that people hear Pearl and so many never really understand exactly how much spanking is going on. Most people hear him and think, "well, I did spank dd/ds for running away that time when they were 18 months, hmm, maybe I wasn't so bad for it".

He also attracts those who are looking for a place to feel comfortable with their attachment parenting which seems strange, but its true. His daughters frequently write articles about baby wearing, including your kids in everything. And they are as has been noted above, rather crunchy. Gardening, herbs, homeopathic, essential oils, herbal teas, and self sufficiency. They are proponents of EC and cloth diapers, and have numerous articles about spending time with your children that never even mention spanking. I loved an article I read once about dealing with anger in young children. Their daughter talked about playing games with her daughter to help her chase her anger away and talked about hugging the anger out and even talked about how she as the mom needed to be more aware of her daughter's needs so she could prevent the anger. All of that, makes for a very misleading understanding of the Pearl's and their idea of discipline. Furthermore, as bad as the book is, it really depends on the perspective you have when you come to it as to how you take it. The real eye-opener to how the Pearl's actually think their book should be implemented is in the numerous letters to the Pearl's that they answer concerning children. I was horrified when I read a letter where a mother wrote saying her 3 month old would cry when laid down and her DH wanted her to spank but she wouldn't. Mr. Pearl replied that though it was a little young in his opinion, she should go ahead and spank the baby! Another one is where he recommended to a mother than her daughter who wouldn't put on her shoes should be spanked on the ankles repeatedly until the shoes were in place even if that meant hundred of lashes until she did it. He described something that sounded more like a beating that what I would call a spanking.

What's become clear to me is that the Pearl's are filling a gap in the need's of families. Families want a place to be safe in their attachments parenting and crunchiness along with real answers to discipline. Very few places give that to the WHOLE family. The Pearl's are filling a needed gap but they are filling it with poison. I am currently unaware of any ministry which addresses the WHOLE family and is similar to the Pearl's in all their good areas. I hope soon another grace-based ministry grows to fill that need.