[ShepherdsWife]

I just read the link. The research was definitely not in tune with the Pearlian philosophy at all. Even the red zone was completely done with children above 4 years of age. The Pearl's have stated that they spanked their children between 2-300 times BEFORE the age of 2 year old. Their daughter stated that she remembers only one spanking in her entire life at the age of 14. That means hundreds of spankings were administered before she was old enough to remember them. Not only can I not imagine spanking my child that young, I think it would be hard to do a study on children with Pearlian style of spanking because there would be a serious amount of abuse issues with the age the spanking was taking place. I would like to see the Pearl's followers all sign up for their babies to be monitored though. I can't see how that much spanking as a baby couldn't show some sort of result and I am confident it wouldn't be good.

Furthermore, I am more interested in a person's life and state of health in their 20s instead of in their teens. I think a research would be much more thorough and realistic. I was spanked and raised in a very strict Tripp, VF home and my "issues" didn't "show up" or rather I was VERY good at covering them until my 20s.

Those who support spanking might like his article, but any person who has a hope of a grace filled life will be turned off by the comments thrown in that are totally off topic and distasteful.

I can see the reason some like him and find the teaching even refreshing at first. I came from a home which ran high on guilt trips and emotional/spiritual manipulation in the spiritual and disciplinary tool box. When I first got pregnant, I read a few of his articles and he talked about spanking calmly and all the small taps helping an infant never reach that stage of rebellion and needing to be punished older. He had a very "detached" and non-emotional way of describing discipline. While I didn't like most of his ministry, I felt relieved there was a WAY to train a child without the horrible methods I grew up with. Spanking was something I had never even realized didn't have to happen.I was dreaded parenting to be honest because I didn't know how outside of the horrible experience I had had. So, at first, I was super excited about a child approach without the manipulation I had felt growing up. After reading Pearl, I had concluded I was damaged not because of the frequent spanking but because of the emotional manipulation that went with it. After all, Pearl is very specific about being non-emotional when spanking. Then, my baby was born and at 4 or 5 months I gave him a little swat and the most horrible feeling in the world came over me. I was horrified. I felt like I had just abused my child! I thought I had found the perfect solution to keep my children from being the battered soul I was and I hadn't. I was still breaking free from the abusive past I had and by the time my child was born I was in a different place and ready for more grace than I had ever known. I went searching for something more gracious. I found a couple articles online and then I found gcm. I am so glad I did! From there for almost three years, I have found more grace and hope than ever.

Maybe that's why I worry so much about his ministry. I realize just how a desperate mom might cling to it as a "better" choice than what she knows already.