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Old 11-20-2009, 06:04 PM   #10
Love_Is_Patient
Rose Trellis
 
 
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Default Re: The book: Helpful hints for child training

Well, I read through it fast to see how much damage control I might have to do with dh. And it's not quite as bad as I was afraid of. HOWEVER, it IS punitive, and NOT a book that I would recommend. If you are looking for a book that covers some of the same areas, like courtesy, home atmosphere, cultivating your child's tastes--Sally Clarkson is a much better choice. More practical and no punitive-ness.

That said, he is better than some of the modern (toxic) parenting authors. I think in a lot of ways people would get out of his book pretty much what they brought into it--he's not putting forth a method, he's not big on specific ideas of what to do. He believes that infants can be trained for self-control, and I disagree. The saving grace there is that he doesn't actually put forward any ideas on how to do it. So an Ezzoite would get out of it that they should keep doing Ezzo and a casual reader would probably go huh? well, how?

Like I said, though, he doesn't promise results, or claim that his way is God's way, or punish if he doesn't get first time obedience. ECing Mama's quote is right, but shows a modern bias. He doesn't recommend corporal punishment except as a last resort; but he doesn't mention 'spanking' at all. He talks about whipping, beating, striking a child --not spanking. And he doesn't give a lot of other ideas except talking with/reasoning with your child.

It's refreshing to see someone who isn't afraid of mother's loving their kids (he has a chapter that's unequivocally positive about the power of a mother's love and gentleness throughout her children's lives), who recommends that parents sidestep power struggles whenever possible (though his idea of what do do when a power struggle has occurred and the parent doesn't see a way around it is punitive ). It has some quotes I wouldn't be surprised to find here and some that I wouldn't be surprised to find in Ezzo.

It's an interesting read from that perspective--IF you are wondering 'did anybody 'back then' have ANY gentle ideas in parenting', IF you are reading it for just that purpose and recognizing the bad theology that leads him to punitive. It's not a book you would read to get helpful ideas for your own parenting.
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Rachel, mom to ds (14) and dd (almost 12) and dd2 (3!)

Last edited by Love_Is_Patient; 11-21-2009 at 07:24 PM.
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