[Tasmanian Saint]

I used to say that I ave no instincts, now I think I'd say I have trouble telling the difference between instincts and social programming. The thing is, what do you do if *all* options feel wrong? It feels wrong to leave my baby to cry *and* it feels wrong to disregard my father's advice that 'it won't hurt her'...
In fact, there are multiple instincts at play, in opposition to each other: One of the world's most basic/universal behaviours/values is respect for (perceived) authority. So if a respected friend/relative/pastor gives you a book telling you that it's *the* way, and the book makes that claim as well - and in choosing to read it, you're kind of placing yourself under its authority - then you've got an instinct-to-obey fighting your Mama instincts, if you even notice them. Then we're programmed to place the tribe above our individual instincts because being part of the group is so important to survival, so if everyone else around you is doing it, that's another instinct you need to fight. Even those of us who are attracted to 'alternative', counter-cultural stuff may feel uncomfortable talking about those things in a hostile group... And if it's what everyone is doing, then it must be common sense, right? And the people around you won't necessarily come out and say how they *didn't* follow the advice and in what ways they let their common sense prevail - they may not even be aware of it themselves, as others have mentioned the filter can be quite impressive - so you're left with the assumption that there's someting wrong with *you* or your child...

Probably enough rambling...