[rjy9343]

Originally Posted by Domina

Just to throw another wrench in the works...

My best friend is an OB nurse and she says that instant, overwhelming, amazing, I Would Kill For This Child love that hit me the moment Sumo was born is, in no way, a universal experience. She sees many, many mamas who are borderline indifferent to their new babies or see them as a nuisance from the start. So their "mama gut" or "instincts" would be a highly unreliable well to draw from in caring for their children.

I did not feel anything that close to love until Ivy was around ten weeks or so. But to say that I was indifferent or considered her a nuisance is harsh. Just because I was not totally in love with my baby as soon as I conceived her does not mean I found her to be inconvenient. Just that I needed time to get to know her and to develop a relationship with her. I also have to wonder how many new moms cover their fear by pretending they could not care less about the baby.

---------- Post added at 12:03 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:57 AM ----------

Originally Posted by Zooey

Yes, that does make sense, at least to me. I think this is why I am more upset (MUCH more upset) at the thought of cold-bloodedly planning out a spanking session, than at a mom (or a dad) losing her/his temper & hitting. Because I know that temptaion to violence is in me, too.
But I do see it as a temptation, even (especially?) when I see it on paper as part of a "plan" for childrearing. It would never occur to me as leading to a positive result.

I have to be honest. I see why parents would think it to be the best way. I heard the spanking verses my entire life and until God opened my eyes, I believed that hitting was the ONLY way to ensure you did not raise godless heathens. But it is only because I asked to God to show me his way that I was finally able to see the distortions for what they are. I am not defending hitting children, I want to make sure that is clear. And having learned what I have learned, I have to wonder how on earth the Christian psychologists and pastors can in good conscience scare parents into hitting their kids.