[Treenahurricane]

My oldest is very strong willed and an explosive child. Her asperger's and other issues (waiting to find out what all they are!) mean that if I were to go with adversarial parenting (and honestly, I tried it because I'm out of tools...it didn't work), I'd be hitting her nonstop. She doesn't respond to punishment or rewards, she just IS nonstop hard to be around. In fact, as a result of my punitive parenting trial out of desperation, she walks around every time she knows she's in trouble (which honestly is a lot) screaming "Don't hit me!" and I feel terrible. I haven't hit her in months but it is something she is now afraid of even though it didn't actually change the behavior for the better.

Gentle discipline with my other children is an effective tool. It takes a lot of work, there's no doubt about it. It's proactive parenting not reactive most of the time (which I struggle with a lot especially when I'm tired and worn out like now). I'm sure punitive parenting may have results with my kids, too, but why take myself down that road? I was abused when I was younger, I know I have the potential of abuse in myself because of anger problems I struggle with. I don't want to cross a line at any point with a normal or strong willed child because I can't control myself. So I take it out of the equation as an option.