[raisa]

I agree . . . of course tons of people swear it "works," they spank and see what they want to see. You can give them all the facts in the world but they won't listen if it means admitting they're wrong (and might have hit their children for no good reason). Just remember they are answering a different question than you want to ask. Why does it "work"? Can you take the parts that "work" (authority, prompt response, consistency) without the pain and fear of spanking?

I was spanked growing up and many things "worked." For years I said I was "fine" but you know what? I could be better. I could have less fear and anger inside. I want better for my children. I want to love them as best I can. Did Jesus spank little children? (Does society even spank our worst criminals, even prisoners of war?) Why don't my children deserve better? How can we give them our BEST?

I don't want to and don't need to spank, and that's not about whether it works for other people. And in my experience your husband will learn this best by your example.