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Old 11-23-2006, 05:24 PM   #49
mum2one
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Default Re: Why not time outs?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanne


I would not suggest the comfort corner for a child who hit. I'd say "Hitting hurts. It's not respectful". If necessary, I'd remove the child from play. I'd find out why they hit and help them find another way to handle the same situation the next time. I'd practice that solution with the child. I'd encourage (strongly, as they get older) an apology.

The comfort corner is not a *substitute* for a time out. It's an alternative philosophy. I'd use a comfort corner for a child who is wound up, amped up, or their emotion is so big they are having trouble behaving appropriately. It would not be to punish, or for them to think about what they need. But a place to calm, to regroup, to gather and collect the inner resources to do better.

Let's say you make a series of mistakes with your husband. What would work better with you?

1) You get a lecture, a consequence (he doesn't take you to dinner) or attention withdrawn?

or

2) He explain why what you did hurt or angered him and gives you time and space to take a bath, read, call a friend, pray?

Children do and learn better when the environment around them is warm, positive and loving. They don't have to be made to feel bad in order to do good.

k, so removing him is just taking him away from the situation he is in? that means that I am distracting him from what he has done?

The comfort corner is for when I can see he is emotional or might get grumpy enough to hit. It is a way to calm him down before the situation occurs?

And when I do something that is not liked. I get the opportunity to collect myself rather than get told off?

That makes sense. I think. It might take a while.

Thankyou Joanne. Sorry if I am asking too many questions.

Jen
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