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Spankings mean distance - an emotional break in relationship. It does sound like you son is pushing to see if he can make you 'not love him' or 'leave him'. Adopted children often have abandonment issues and I suspect there is a lot of fear related to this behavior. The fact that his behavior has caused you to go away in the past might need to be addressed as few little children are logically enough to process that situation - they only know that you went away and they were the reason. I do think professional help to work through some of those things can definitely help because the behavior comes from an emotion or a thought. You don't want to just get him to 'act right', you want him to feel safe and secure and loved and that's a bit different than just modifying his behavior.

__________________
Elizabeth

"Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep

Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19

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10-19-2014, 09:35 PM	#9
CelticJourney Administrator Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 34,567	Re: Temper tantrums Spankings mean distance - an emotional break in relationship. It does sound like you son is pushing to see if he can make you 'not love him' or 'leave him'. Adopted children often have abandonment issues and I suspect there is a lot of fear related to this behavior. The fact that his behavior has caused you to go away in the past might need to be addressed as few little children are logically enough to process that situation - they only know that you went away and they were the reason. I do think professional help to work through some of those things can definitely help because the behavior comes from an emotion or a thought. You don't want to just get him to 'act right', you want him to feel safe and secure and loved and that's a bit different than just modifying his behavior. __________________ Elizabeth "Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19

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