[wildswede]

Is he getting professional counseling services? That's the first place I would start, tantrums in six year olds aren't unusual, but when there's a history of trauma, it's a good idea to meet that head on in counseling rather than wait (or deal with it through re-traumatizing). In that situation, I would probably have been waiting for a meltdown, he is six, being big doesn't mean his brain is more developed than any other six year old, playing with kids who are more mature is hard and even harder when you find yourself cutting corners to stay on top and wind up being called out for it. I have a four year old who has pretty regular meltdowns in public, he has sensory and autism symptoms and there's only so much he can take. It's been a lot of observing and acknowledging how much of other humans he can handle, then being willing to call it a day when he's reached his threshold. But, still, it happens, as someone who also works with special needs kids, my first and foremost priority is safety. If everyone is safe and all that's happening is hollering, while loud and maybe embarrassing, it's not hurting anyone. Leave as soon as possible with as little intervention as possible (brainstorm ways of coping in the moment, my son responds well to using head phones to silence the noise around him, pulling his hood over his eyes, having my phone, blowing bubbles, manipulating putty, etc). If someone is in danger of being hurt, is hurt, or there is some other reason to believe there is imminent threat to anyone, then I have gone so far as to put him in a kneeling one-arm hold and then carry him away from the stimuli (though he's only 40 pounds). Otherwise, yeah, even in public, I make sure he is safe and others are safe and I will just be his human shield and then I will snuggle him after it's over because it's not just embarrassing for the parent--- it's embarrassing for the kiddo as well, they need someone who will keep others away from them, keep them safe, and love them unconditionally. I've gotten looks and comments from people, they can mind their own.