My little guy actually did pick up on the "shy" label and started using it as an excuse. "No Mommy, I can't. I'm shy!" I want him to accept his own introversion, but know that he *can* work on his social skills at appropriate times too! Just in a way that respects his cautious personality and need for space to get comfortable. I want to frame *who he is* positively while finding positive ways to encourage his social development. Hmm. I guess I HAVE always considered "shy" to be a stigmatized label, but maybe it doesn't have to be if it can be reclaimed in a positive way? I don't really know.
ETA: I also think there is a difference between referring to yourself as shy and strangers labeling you that way. I bothers me when people "label" DS without giving him the chance to warm up and show them who he really is!
When I was about DS's age, my mother kept encouraging me to respond to the strangers who talked to me, but I just stared/glared at them. One day, she got fed up and decided to spend an entire afternoon ignoring me to show me how it felt. She would not respond to me at all, and I became more and more upset to the point of sobbing uncontrollably.
I don't know if I learned any lesson from that, but I certainly remember it to this day. My mom says she didn't know what else to do to make me aware of how my "rude" responses made others feel