Originally Posted by BlessedBlue

Reframing that resoluteness has helped a lot! Rather than having it a strong-willed me vs. child paradigm, I have changed it. Our paradigm is that of one dragon-tamer mentoring another dragon-tamer. Instead of labeling the strong will as a bad thing and being in opposition to it. I'm trying to help myself and my daughter identify what the real issue is - and then focus our resolute desires to conquer evil on the true problem.

So, IRL, instead of getting frustrated with DD for making us late for school every morning, and having her dig her heels in on getting things done in a timely manner (which we tried that, and yeah, didn't work), I identified the problem as the Dragon of Being Late. By identifying the problem as something we can fight together, I stopped the tension between ourselves, and invited her in on the problem solving. This allowed her to be able to brainstorm and join in on the side of being on-time, without feeling under attack.

Oh, and when we are able to tame the Dragon of Being Late, according to my daughter we turn into On Time Unicorns, who drive to school on sparkly rainbows.

This is gentle parenting. I still spend time each morning ensuring she gets everything ready on time, but instead of fighting ME, she's fighting the Dragon. I'm not taking the fight away from her, just redirecting it to more productive targets.