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Old 10-01-2007, 02:15 AM   #6
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Default Re: Collected Paste Posts about Biting

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Title: Biting?
Post by: Blue Aurora on March 27, 2005, 09:22:20 PM
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My 10 month old has just started biting and it hurts!! What do I do? So far every time he bites me or dh we say OWW, NO BITING, THAT HURTS MOMMY/DADDY We've tried giving him a toy that he could bite on but he obviously prefers our arms, shoulder, knees and legs. Is there anything else we can do?


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Title: Re: Biting?
Post by: MarynMunchkins on March 27, 2005, 09:53:38 PM
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You could try just putting him down. Nicely, of course, but help him realize that you aren't going to hold a biting child. Will he chew on the arm of a baby doll? We have one that has bite marks in it.

It'll get better once his teeth come in.


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Title: Re: Biting?
Post by: schoolofmom on March 28, 2005, 09:36:32 AM
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I would also try not to make a big deal out of it either if at all possible. Try and be really calm when you say, "No bite." (I know, sometimes it hurts so bad you can't help but squeal a little.) With both of my kids, they enjoyed a big reaction and thought it was funny.


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Title: Re: Biting?
Post by: ArmsOfLove on March 28, 2005, 10:23:18 AM
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Think proactive--at 10 months he's teething so I'd give him something for teething pain; keep giving him something to bite (try a few different things until you find something he also likes to bite); and if you see him about to bite you can prevent it by taking your forefinger and laying it sideways under his chin--with very little pressure (practice on yourself) you can prevent him from even opening his mouth to be able to bite.

Also, if he's playing with other children be hypervigilant so that no one else gets bitten

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Title: new here... looking for advice
Post by: joyful mama on June 01, 2005, 10:09:08 AM
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Hi there

I just joined last night, and here I am asking for advice . Well, that's one of the reasons I joined in the first place, lol.

I have a 17 month old little girl who has a wonderful disposition. However, there are certain areas she and I need to work on.

1. She bites. She went through a phase where she did this all the time, we realized it was her molars coming in, so we stocked up on teething things, gave her teething tablets, and cold cloths, etc. Told her 'gentle, no bite' very firmly... it worked. However, she started again. She bit her cousins and her friend the other day... really hard. I tell her, "NO BITE, GENTLE", then place her on my lap and hold her. I then tell her she can get down from my lap when she calms down. It is NOT working. Sigh... she tried to bite her other cousin the other day, but I got hold of her just in time. I'm usually good at pulling her off before she bites, and making her be 'gentle'. However, I'm 6 months pregnant and not exactly the most agile... so I can't always get to her in time. Any advice to get her to stop? All her molars are in now, completely, so I can't imagine any other teeth would be making her bite again... I did notice she does it to me when she's mad at me, too (eg. taking her away from something dangerous/messy). This isn't often, but it did take me by surprise!

Second thing... how do I get her to listen to my voice? She understands commands, 'give that to mommy' , 'close that please', etc. so I would think she understands, 'no'. I say 'ah, ah' and that works a lot, but not all the time. She got into a dangerous situation yesterday at the park, and I said ,'stop!' so she wouldn't fall, but she kept going. Sigh...

TIA!

God Bless


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Title: Re: new here... looking for advice
Post by: Joanne on June 01, 2005, 10:59:48 AM
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Quote
She went through a phase where she did this all the time, we realized it was her molars coming in, so we stocked up on teething things, gave her teething tablets, and cold cloths, etc. Told her 'gentle, no bite' very firmly... it worked. However, she started again. She bit her cousins and her friend the other day... really hard. I tell her, "NO BITE, GENTLE", then place her on my lap and hold her. I then tell her she can get down from my lap when she calms down. It is NOT working. Sigh... she tried to bite her other cousin the other day, but I got hold of her just in time. I'm usually good at pulling her off before she bites, and making her be 'gentle'. However, I'm 6 months pregnant and not exactly the most agile... so I can't always get to her in time. Any advice to get her to stop?

Biting is a common stage for children to go through. Some things that might help are to increase the appropriate ways for her to use her mouth. Increase chewy foods (fruit leather, bagels, raisins), spicy foods such as sausage or salsa. Increase temperature changes such as smoothies, soup. Use a straw often.

Designate one special toys as "the biting toy" and give it every time she bites or goes to bite. "Biting hurts. Bite this".

Give her an alternative way to express the emotion. "Space" or "Turn" or "Mad". Increase the use of baby signs.


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Second thing... how do I get her to listen to my voice? She understands commands, 'give that to mommy' , 'close that please', etc. so I would think she understands, 'no'. I say 'ah, ah' and that works a lot, but not all the time. She got into a dangerous situation yesterday at the park, and I said ,'stop!' so she wouldn't fall, but she kept going. Sigh...

A few things.......

First, the ability to understand words pre-dates the ability to utilize self control. By a long shot! There are still some things at 39 I'm unable to use my impulse control over.

You can't rely on words to keep children safe. That's your job no matter what. If you spanked her for running into the road, would you expect to be able to let her play by a busy street after that? She'll need your help being safe no matter what.

The way to teach her to obey your words is to do exactly what you are finding challenging due to your pregnancy. But she isn't bigger because you are pregnant. She'll need lots of hands on parenting for a long time to come.

Here:

http://joanneaz_2.tripod.com/positiv...nter/id21.html





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Title: Re: new here... looking for advice
Post by: joyful mama on June 01, 2005, 01:52:32 PM
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Joanne, thank you so much! I read the link you gave me... it makes complete sense to me. Seems like I should have come to that on my own... lol . As far as the biting, that also makes sense. I will designate one of her teething toys as her 'bite' toy and see how she does with that.

Thank you again,
Jen


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Title: Re: new here... looking for advice
Post by: mom2threePKs on June 01, 2005, 03:36:23 PM
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Having had a biter I just thought i'd share a couple things that I found helpful.
1. Realize that for her bitingis no more aggressive than scratching, hitting, pinching or kicking, it's just that a biting toddler can inflict some serious damage where a hitting toddler really can't. There's also a lot of social implications for biting that make it seem worse when it is just aggression.
2. Sometimes biting is a way of releasing "big feelings" (you'll see that a lot here!). My dd would sometimes chomp on something if she was tremendously happy. The mouth is still a very intense sensory experience at that age and I honestly think biting felt so good to her she had trouble understanding that it didn't feel good to the recipient.
3. DD loved having a "biting thing" that she could chomp on. We also introduced very small pieces of chewing gum by the time she was 2 and a half and that seemed to help. She's just a very oral kid.

Now at three and a half she has been able to say, "My mouth wanted to bite sissy but my brain said no so I didn't." It takes a lot of time and maturity to be able to control those impulses but it does happen!!!!!


Magan


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Title: Re: new here... looking for advice
Post by: joyful mama on June 01, 2005, 06:36:03 PM
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Thank you for your post, Magan. It could just be that she is very 'oral' as well. I have noticed when she's really excited, she goes to bite... strange! She does get better, but when she's around her older cousin, sometimes she gets soo much more aggressive...

I've read and reread the link Joanne sent, and got a special 'biting' toy for her today. Dh is looking forward to seeing a change, and so am I! I am being very optomistic!

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Title: Biting is getting WORSE
Post by: joyful mama on July 25, 2005, 04:02:16 PM
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Ok, I posted a while ago about biting... and I got some good tips, which I've been using. SHe has a special toy that is only for biting... and she bites it HARD when I see she is getting ready to bite, or she has just bitten! I can't see any teeth coming in, and she has no other symptoms of teething, so I doubt she is teething. I give her chewy toys and foods, and a cool cloth to chew on anyways, though. I think she just ENJOYS biting. She's a very oral kid, I understand that. But her biting HURTS, leaves marks and comes from no where. She does it when she's happy, when she's mad, etc. I have been practicing 'gentle' with her, b/c it dawned on me that she didn't know what it meant! Well, she does now, or so I thought. She gently strokes my arm, face, etc. even when I had a friend over with her 5 month old, she gently stroked the baby's head. No hiting, no attempts at biting.

But what am I doing wrong? I don't find this behavior acceptable! What can I do to get her to stop!? I am having a baby in 5 weeks--- and I do NOT want her biting this little one! It has to stop, I jsut dont' know how.

I would really appreciate advice.

God BLess


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Title: Re: Biting is getting WORSE
Post by: ArmsOfLove on July 25, 2005, 05:11:24 PM
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You're not doing anything wrong She's a biter. Eventually she'll outgrow it and will be able to control it better. In the meantime you need to be hypervigilant about it.

You might also want to read some on SID (Sensory Integration Disorder) and oral needs from that. A good book I've seen recommended is The Out of Sync Child.


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Title: Re: Biting is getting WORSE
Post by: IslandMama on July 25, 2005, 11:11:53 PM
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My 2nd ds was a biter... Same thing, bit when happy, excited, sad, you name it! He eventually outgrew it, and we had to watch him constantly... He's 8 now and bites his nails... :/ Hang in there!

(edited for spelling! instead of "hang in there" had "hand in there" LOL!!! )


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Title: Re: Biting is getting WORSE
Post by: CJ on July 26, 2005, 03:24:23 AM
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My 16 month-old is a biter too. My 3 yo has been known to introduce him as "this is my baby brother. Be careful, he bites." Now that he knows what "gentle" means and "give kisses" I try to make as little a deal of it as possible. Because I noticed that when we make a huge deal about it and focus on it, once our attention is somewhere else, he may try biting again. I'm teaching DD3 to say "stop biting" and move away immediately--she had a tendancy to just lay there on the floor and cry or whine if he attempted to bite or actually did bite her. He seemed to like the reaction and it was harder to distract him at that point. Now I'm starting to see him stop himself and kiss instead even without prompting.


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Title: Re: Biting is getting WORSE
Post by: joyful mama on July 26, 2005, 05:09:59 AM
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Thanks, ladies. I will try to be hypervigilant about it... especially when my nb arrives.. I'm really nervous about that. She hurts my dh and I, I know she could really hurt the baby. Sigh...

Crystal, I started looking into SID... seems a bit extreme for my dd's case, but there may be some info on the oral needs part, thanks.
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